Letting Go
by TheChiaPetOverlLord
Summary: After everyone in the Host Club graduates, after Haruhi moves away, it's time to move on. Kyoya has six months to convince Tamaki of this. Tamaki and Kyoya pairing. This is meant to be a simple, lighthearted fic.
1. Prologue

Prologue

So, Haruhi went to college...in Switzerland.

That is how Tamaki Suoh found himself lying on the floor of his college dorm room (way smaller than he was used to, but, to average people, a luxury size. It had the space and interior of a one story house, arranged this way by Kyoya so Tamaki, upon finding out that his "little girl" was moving away, wouldn't throw himself down the stairs.)

"Whyyyyyyyyyyy! Why did she leave me! I'm her daddy!"

"Maybe because she wanted an opportunity at a better education elsewhere." Kyoya calmly said as he casually let himself into the "dorm".

"Mommy! Our baby has left us! How can you be so calm!"

"Because she's an adult now, she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, unlike some people..." He said this as he looked over at Tamaki, sprawled out on the floor in his underwear and a t-shirt that says 'Haruhi's Favorite Daddy' on it.

"But that wasn't part of the plan! She was supposed to finish high school at Ouran Academy and then go to school with us at Ouran University! We'd reassemble the Host Club until I married her on a beach at sunset! That would be the dramatic end of the club, until our dashingly beautiful sons started a new host club in honor of me! THAT WAS WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!" He continued to bawl on the floor. At this point, Kyoya had decided to leave.

Kyoya came back about an hour later to check on Tamaki, and what a sight to behold. Tamaki was literally swimming in his own tears. The twins even confirmed this.

"Hey boss, what are you doing?" They asked after walking in.

"Swimming in my own tears." Tamaki replied.

"Oh," the twins said before going to Tamaki's kitchen and eating his bananas.

Kyoya decided to try and help him before he flooded his entire dorm. He walked over and placed a hand on Tamaki's shoulder.

"You really miss her, huh?"

At this point, Tamaki couldn't even speak normal sentences. He just groaned out, "Haruhi..."

"What if we took a trip to see Haruhi?" Kyoya asked.

Tamaki's ears perked up at this. "Haruhi!" He said again while wagging his butt in the air and sticking his tongue out, panting a little.

"But ONLY if you stop moping around and focus more on school. Your father recently informed me of your grades, they're awful."

"Yes!" Tamaki the puppy said. He then returned to his normal, optimistic self. "I can do this!"

"Ok, if you behave, and only if you behave, we can go to visit Haruhi over spring break."

"But that's six months away!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Exactly, just enough time to prove you've gotten your act together." Kyoya replied.

Tamaki slouched with a mega pouty-face.

"Ok..." He said.

Six whole months. Six dreadful months. Time was ticking, for both Tamaki and Kyoya. Tamaki was anxiously awaiting the moment he would get to see Haruhi, and Kyoya was doing the exact opposite, for many reasons.

Kyoya knew that it had to end, all of it. The Ouran High School Host Club would have to officially end, soon, because they all had to grow up eventually, even if he was the only one who knew it. Haruhi had moved on from all of them, even Tamaki, who even Kyoya liked to believe was her first love. She was going out into the world, learning and finding where she was supposed to be, and the Ouran Host Club was just a stepping stone to that, not where she was supposed to end up. None of them were supposed to end up there.

Tamaki and the rest of them had responsibilities, either taking over their family's business, or making themselves useful elsewhere. It was time, ever since they all graduated, but Kyoya knew that Tamaki would need a little more, and Kyoya would need those six months to try to get the leader to move on. Tamaki didn't know it yet, but their visit to Haruhi was a goodbye, to both Haruhi and his, their, old lives, and a step into the future.

It would take a lot of work, but Kyoya believed he could get Tamaki and the others to move on.

It would be a long six months.


	2. Letting Go

Month 1

So, in the one month observation of Mr. Suoh, I haven't seen many changes in his behavior, other than the arrangement has helped him settle from a dangerously depressed state.

Health wise, things are looking better. He's eaten less ice-cream and fast food than in the past month, resulting in him losing a lot of the weight gained during his depression. He washes his face routinely now, and isn't messing up his dormitory as much as he used to.

Overall, his health and well-being are good, apart from the fact that it's stimulus is from the fact that he will see Haruhi soon. Over time, maybe he'll start to develop other interests, though.

Month 2

So, there has been no improvement from last month, but it hasn't gotten worse either. He still goes about his day-to-day life, but his purpose is still Haruhi, I'm afraid.

He goes to class to gain knowledge to "impress Haruhi".

He eats healthily and exercises to "stay fit for Haruhi".

He even went shopping with me the other day to "look good for Haruhi".

He made this remark many times as we entered various stores, from his favorite designer shops, to "commoner stores" as he calls them. He dragged me to so many places just to find the right outfits, despite our trip to Switzerland being five months away. I went along to monitor him, and, other than his obsession, he acted quite normal, well for him at least. He did strut around the store in a pink tuxedo with sparkles on it exclaiming, "I'm going to marry Haruhi in this!"

I'm hoping that, despite two months already passing, he can still learn to control this behavior and let go of his past.

Month 3

This month has proved more promising. Mr. Suoh has only mentioned Haruhi a handful of times, which is a great improvement from mentioning her dozens of times a day.

We've been on many outings, but that was simply it. Unless Mr. Suoh had hidden intentions, he was going places because he truly wanted to, and not because of something related to Haruhi.

The Hitachiin twins, Mr. Haninozuka, Mr. Morinozuka, Mr. Suoh, and myself even visited Ouran High School, and the subject didn't even mention Haruhi. We dressed in our old uniforms and entertained as we used to for some students, even giving male students a few tips. It was a great day, and a sign of great improvement for Mr. Suoh.

I am proud to announce the estimation that everything will go to plan.

Month 4

Well, it seems I have spoken too soon. Mr. Suoh seemed to have taken a turn for the worse this week.

I approached him the moment I heard noises from outside his dorm. I found him sitting on his living room floor, head in his hands, and sobbing.

I crouched down beside him.

"Kyoya!" He sobbed.

"I can't do it. I can't do it anymore! I tried... I tried so hard Kyoya!"

He looked at me with eyes that I had never seen before. I had seen him break down many times, but I had never seen the look in his eyes that he displayed in that moment. It was a look beyond depression. It was a look that displayed not only hurt, but strain, as if he had prolonged that hurt.

Tamaki's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Kyoya, I tried to stop thinking about her. I know I'll see her soon. I know she's doing well because...because she's Haruhi. And she does well in whatever she decides to do. I just miss her. I know it's crazy but-"

In that moment he made me understand a little of what he was going through. He suddenly wasn't such a one-sided character, but one who was much more complex than what meets the eye. I knew it would be more difficult a task than I had previously thought.

Before I knew it my own instincts took over and I was hugging my "best friend", as many could call it. He cried on my shoulder for approximately an hour.

For the rest of the month, I tried to cheer him up more, but decided making him just "forget" about Ms. Fujioka was nearly impossible.

So, we would do anything. Anything that got Mr. Suoh's mind off of his current situation, if only for just a few hours. At night, I would let him release any pent up emotion from an exhausting day of suppressing his one dominant way of thought, that pointed to Haruhi Fujioka.

Sometimes, he would cry on my shoulder like the first night. Other times, he would simply talk to me about what he was feeling or he would tell me stories about his past with Haruhi. There were even some nights where he would let out a combination of all of those behaviors, managing to cry on my shoulder while telling me stories, how he was feeling, and, his seemingly worst way of coping of all, telling me of what could've been.

It turns out, Mr. Suoh had planned on finishing college there and marrying Ms. Fujioka. He planned on letting her have the life he believed she always deserved. To support her on any ventures she decided on. As for myself, my role in this has been the friend, if not the humble caretaker.

That's an intriguing notion in its own way.

Month 5

Things have been going as usual. As time is beginning to run out, I know that my efforts must increase. Therefore, this month, I've tried even harder. To be quite honest, though, I haven't minded at all.

Yes, it has certainly felt like a break from my usual routine of strictly going to class, studying, and then sleeping, just to repeat it all again. Therefore, I have decided to dedicate my time to Tamaki...because of the project, of course.

One remarkable event happened the second week of this month.

Tamaki and I were enjoying a movie night, something that had become routine in our simple friendship. We were under the same blanket. It was soft and warm, and so was the romantic movie that Tamaki decided to watch. The moment was warm, warmer than I had ever been used to, probably warmer than I had ever felt. Tamaki seemed to bask in this warmth. He always had. How had I missed it?

It was warm and it was late. We both would have class the next day, and we both needed to be off to bed soon. I looked over and saw that Tamaki's usually stirred emotions weren't displayed on his face, but they were simplified to a soft, calm, dreamy look as he let his mind slowly wander. I finally saw what I had wanted to see for so long, for so many years.

Tamaki was at peace.

I didn't want to disturb this state he had fallen into as he had let himself fall asleep next to me, his head positioned away on the opposite arm rest so I couldn't possibly have seen him first fall into that dreamy expression. I looked at him with eyes that I didn't even know I could show to anyone, including myself. I made a decision then.

Tamaki's apartment, though next door, was simply too far to walk to. That too far walk would also disturb this beautiful state he found himself in. That beautiful state that I found us both in as I stared at my, finally, peaceful best friend. I let him have the blanket, gently tucked him in, propped his head up, and then left for my own bedroom.

By the next morning he was moving in.

Month 6

My last month.

Writing this was the most difficult thing because, I still don't know the full situation.

Not knowing. That's something I can't say I'm used to. I miss being used to things. I miss knowing Tamaki's every move. I've found, living with him and being in the same proximity have had the opposite effect.

I continue making him important. I'm just trying to show him there's life outside of what he built in high school. Or am I? We are meant to take on a position bestowed upon us from birth, to succeed, to want to be that person we were born to be. Tamaki began to challenge that from day one. All I wanted to do is bring him back to that life he's meant to live. But, in doing this, I feel as if I've forgotten that life for myself.

I find myself thinking about the day with Tamaki instead of thinking about my studies. I find myself trying to read and I hear Tamaki's voice in my head. I close my own eyes and see Tamaki's violet orbs looking into me. It's like he knew this whole time. It's like he didn't know at all. All at the same time he turned the tables. I tried to show him a life without Haruhi, and he showed me a life with him. When he leaves, I know exactly what will happen to me.

And nobody will change my mind.

"Tamaki." I said to him, right before we went to bed that night.

"Yeah, Kyoya?"

"I love you."

I said it. I sat on one end of the island in the kitchen on a barstool, ready to attempt the homework and studies that always got left behind in favor of Tamaki's presence.

Tamaki gaped for a moment. It was a look that I used to think of as unreasonable and childish, but came to think of as endearing and simply a part of Tamaki that would never be rid of, and I came to be thankful for that.

"I love you, too!" Tamaki said with a happy grin on his face.

I was shocked, and before he had the chance to speak again, I felt Tamaki's arm around me.

"You're my best friend!" Tamaki told me with a confident grin and a pat on my back.

No. No. This was not what I wanted. This is what I feared most. My irrational friend suddenly was the rational one. He would never accept me. But I loved him more than I had ever loved anything. I refused to just let him go like that.

I was so stupid.

I pulled him to me and kissed him with a fire I didn't think I possessed. I wanted to imagine him kissing me back. I wanted him to take me in his arms and confirm that I had been wrong. Wrong about everything. For once in my life I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to be wrong about thinking I had to follow the path laid before me. I wanted to be wrong about falling in love with someone who could give an heir to my family's name. I wanted to be wrong about treasuring these things.

It turned out, that I was only wrong about telling my name, and reputation, and my rationality to just go to Hell.

But it was too late. In one kiss, one movement, one gesture, one embrace, one wish that I so desperately wanted to come true, I buried being wrong about the right things farther than they could ever be severed. I buried my heart and my very being with them.

In actuality, I felt Tamaki's eyes widen. I felt him struggle against me. I felt him pull away all too soon. When I heard the door slam, I felt the floor slam on my body as I collapsed. I then felt tears trail down my face.

My six months were up. I lost Tamaki. I lost my perfect academic record. But, most of all, I lost my will to care about losing a part of the life planned for me, because I also lost my will to live that life.

I wanted Tamaki's smiles. I wanted to live in a humble home with him, that would be our home. I wanted to go out every day. I wanted to see him smile everyday. But, most of all, I wanted him to confide in me, and I wanted someone to confine in.

I sat on my empty dorm room floor crying alone.


	3. Epilogue Part 1

Epilogue Part 1

Tamaki couldn't believe what his supposed best friend had just told him. How was he supposed to respond? It was impossible. It wasn't in the cards for Tamaki or Kyoya. Besides, Tamaki still had his eyes on Haruhi. He confided in Kyoya and let his friendship grow as he tried to let his bond to Haruhi loosen, but he still only had eyes for her. He couldn't believe Kyoya would think that, would act on it. First, it simply wasn't Kyoya. On top of that, his best friend knew he was in love with someone else. Tamaki thought about Haruhi when he woke up in the morning and before he went to bed, the only times he had been at peace for the past six months. He loved her so much when she left, and no distance from her was going to end that love. He would fight for it. It was all he felt like he had.

He hated the idea of the life set before him. Then he found Haruhi, and it clicked. She would allow him to live happily and like a normal person, but she was also accepted by his family. He thought it was perfect.

Why would Kyoya want to ruin that?

He stepped off the plane, alone, and looked around him. He was in Switzerland. Before he knew it he was in a car and being driven to Haruhi's college, where he would meet her before checking into a hotel nearby.

When the driver stopped, Tamaki quickly got out and ran to the dorm he found out was hers. He was twenty minutes early but that didn't stop him. He knocked frantically on the door.

"Haruhi! Daddy's here!" He shouted with glee.

There wasn't a response. He tried again. Nothing.

He sat by her doorstep until, twenty minutes later (when he said he would meet her), she appeared in front of him.

He ran to her and hugged her tighter than he ever had. It felt so good for her to finally be in his arms again. It felt so right to him.

He was so lost in this feeling he noticed nothing else around him. Nobody else.

"Senpai!" Haruhi exclaimed, amused at his behavior. He hadn't changed at all.

He let go when he noticed her turning a little blue from his squeezing her so tight. He blushed and smiled a shy smile at her. This was it. This was when he would truly confess his love and his plans. He was looking at his shoes as he nervously thought of how to bring it all up to her.

When he looked up, he saw something he didn't expect to see. There was a rather attractive young man standing next to Haruhi.

"Who are you?" He curiously asked.

"Senpai, that's one of the things I was excited about telling you! This is Vash." She smiled shyly for a second, a blush spreading on her face.

"He's my boyfriend." She told him.

Tamaki's world might as well have ended right then and there. It did, actually. Everything he planned at least. He couldn't show this, though, so he followed them inside the dorm and tried to make himself comfortable.

They talked for an hour or so. Vash was also a student at the school. Tamaki couldn't help but to see a slight resemblance between himself and the other man. They were blonde and had almond-shaped eyes. The only differences were that Vash had bright green eyes, opposed to Tamaki's violet. Vash was also more muscular, while Tamaki had a leaner build. Vash's physique seemed to match his personality, as he came off as a very practical, smart man. He was a lot like Haruhi. Tamaki hated that realization.

Tamaki stayed in his hotel for the rest of his stay. He faked sickness, which wasn't completely a lie, considering his heart felt sicker than it had when he first found out that Haruhi had left for Switzerland.

Because now it felt like he had been really hurt for the first time. For the first time, he didn't cry or throw a tantrum. He simply sat back and slowly felt the pangs of his heart with every breath he took.

The many hours of silence also allowed him to do something he, honestly, hadn't done much of in a while. He thought. He let himself feel pain and analyzed it for himself. Usually Kyoya did that for him.

Kyoya.

How was Kyoya feeling? What happened to him? Tamaki let his mind continue to process.

In between questioning himself, just as Kyoya always did for him as he would slowly rub his back, and oh, did that always feel good... Tamaki came to a few dead ends that, Tamaki realized, were really realizations.

Realization one: Haruhi was no longer his, and she hadn't been for a while.

Realization two: Haruhi was also no longer the same person she was when she was a cute, commoner host in his club. She had grown her hair out. She dressed more femininely. She had a new air about her. She was confident. She wasn't the commoner girl anymore, but, instead, she was right in her place. The people who she surrounded herself with were also hard workers, and fast thinkers, and they had similar dreams and ambitions. Vash was one of those people.

Realization three: Haruhi had different ambitions than he did. The "perfect" future he planned never would've worked out, anyway.

Realization four: Tamaki, himself, had different ambitions than he once had.

And, after these realizations, the last question he asked himself?

Why hadn't he, and why wasn't he, with Kyoya in that moment?


	4. Epilogue Part 2

Epilogue Part 2

Once the plane touched the ground, Tamaki took off to find Kyoya. He raced to the first place he expected him to be, the very place he had hoped he wouldn't be.

And there he was.

Kyoya was lying sloppily on his couch, in his pajamas, his glasses askew on his nose. He had tear stains on his face. There were empty food containers and used tissues scattered around him.

"Kyoya!" Tamaki yelled for his friend.

Kyoya just had enough energy to look up at the sound of Tamaki's voice. He started to scowl when he suddenly felt a pair of lips on his.

Tamaki had ran to him, and thrown his arms around Kyoya as he kissed him. He locked him in an embrace that, after the past few miserable days, sickened Kyoya. Tamaki had already locked away his heart for himself, why was he locking away his body as well?

Kyoya finally pried Tamaki off of him.

"What are you doing?!" He hoarsely screamed at him.

Tamaki was hurt at this, but he wasn't going to give up.

"Kyoya, I love you. I was lost in this fantasy of being with Haruhi forever and having all this stuff, but then I visited Haruhi and I realized that it really was a fantasy." Tamaki felt heat rise in himself as he spoke with a new type of passion. "I'm rich and was in frickin' Switzerland, Kyoya! Staying in a five star hotel with every luxury available, but I was still so miserable! I was still missing something!" Tamaki slowly walked back to his friend, and, quietly, he spoke again.

"I realized I was missing you." He said.

Kyoya was stunned, but finally spoke.

"No, Tamaki."

Kyoya looked up at Tamaki, whose hurt expression brought him physical pain, but he knew he had to say what was on his mind.

"Tamaki. You have to grow up. We both do. We have to face reality and the reality is that we can't have everything, unlike what we always thought. You can't have your life and me, and I can't have my life and you." Kyoya finally told him.

Tamaki surprised Kyoya once again. He grabbed his arm. Kyoya was jerked up and, in a matter of seconds, was on his feet and being pulled out the door.

Tamaki led Kyoya off campus, away from most civilization, and to a small cluster of forest that they had picnicked in many times over the last six months.

Tamaki held out his hand and gestured around him. He looked at Kyoya.

"Kyoya, this is what I want. I don't care about being rich, I don't care about being an heir, even. I know you can't replace Haruhi in that life that I planned, but I don't want that life. I want this, Kyoya! I want you! I want to start something new, something that's just ours! We started coming here and made something ours. We watched movies together every Friday night and made that ours! I want to make a new life that's just ours, too!" Tamaki exclaimed to the, still stunned, man before him.

Kyoya was going to be the devil's advocate in this. He would question, like he always did, to make a decision.

"Have you really thought about this?" Kyoya asked.

"I spent every hour of every day for the rest of my trip, after only an hour meeting with Haruhi, thinking about this." Tamaki replied with a fierceness he had never shown.

"You know your family won't accept it?" Kyoya asked, his voice rising.

"They don't accept half the things I do! Might as well let them down now. They don't matter to me anymore, Kyoya!" Tamaki yelled.

"You know we'll be on our own?" Kyoya's tone began to match Tamaki's.

"That's exactly how I want it!" Tamaki spat back.

"You know I'm it, right? You know we're each other's last hope!" Kyoya yelled, emotion hitting him like a tidal wave.

Tamaki couldn't even speak anymore. He just nodded. His voice lowered as Kyoya's emotion became his and the tables were turned.

Tamaki genuinely asked Kyoya, concerned for the man he cared so deeply for, "You know your life won't ever be the same?"

Tamaki knew would give up all those things, but would Kyoya?

Kyoya thought back to the horrible grades he had been making in subjects that didn't even interest him anymore, and, what used to seem so dear to him, suddenly meant absolutely nothing.

"It already won't be." Kyoya calmly told Tamaki.

Tamaki smiled a weak smile at that.

"Well then, Kyoya Ootari, will you spend the rest of your life with me?" Tamaki asked.

Kyoya smiled softly and looked into Tamaki's violet eyes.

"Yes." He told him.

Before Tamaki could say or do anything, Kyoya asked the blonde a question.

"Do you really love me, Tamaki?"

"Yes." Tamaki replied, before taking Kyoya's face into his hands and kissing him. Neither struggled or pulled back this time. Neither let go.

"I love you, so, so much." Tamaki breathed out between kisses.

Tamaki touched the ends of Kyoya's dark hair as Kyoya held Tamaki loosely by the waist.

"I love you. I can't wait to start a life with you." Kyoya finally let out after admiring the man in front of him.

They walked back hand in hand. Later on, hand in hand, they told their families. Hand in hand, they watched as the other was ridiculed and eventually dismissed from their family and the paths chosen from them. So, hand in hand, they walked a new path together.

They let go every morning when it was time for them to go off to their separate classes in college. Eventually, they let go when it was time for them to go to their separate classes in a different aspect of life. Everyday, Tamaki went off to his classroom of young, hopeful first graders, where he got to teach them how to act like gentlemen and ladies, and how to play piano, and how to dress up and have fun when they could. Kyoya went off to his classroom of elders, where he taught them how to hope again. He taught them new hobbies, and he got to help them with things they lost the ability to do. He was able to truly care about people, just like he always, really, did and wanted to do.

Every day, Tamaki and Kyoya would let go of each other, something they had gotten in a habit of from letting go of their entire past lives, but there was one difference.

Every night, they would find each other again as they lied side by side on their normal bed, in their normal house, in their normal life that they created together.

And they couldn't have been happier any other way.


End file.
